11 Jan 2018

White Canvas

is not always

I'm not sure what I have to write
Again, I'm wondering if
any idea could fly into this bundle of cellulose

I was reread my own fiction
Which I created seven years ago
When I'm blinded and just moved within times
But nothing is prepared for the future

There I've been living in the present
Now I'm taking my reward--late for work chances

Knowing my Toastmasters allies
They are all bright persons
I'm feeling down
They've reached what they wanted
in such a young age

I'm fixing myself
Tempted to get my own business
But seeing them.. uff

Should have been motivated
Yet I am feeling more down

But then
Here in my workplace
I found persons which needs an elevator
to lift them up
to gain knowledge
Though they also have superiority

I am jealous
Even my little sister hates me often
I feel unaccepted
But I want to reach a meaning
for my life in this world
despite the one main order from Allah


Now I feel a bit better after writing it.
Since it's been very long to write something like this publicly
And I wanna gain my courage to let this burden go
I wanna be in a positive charge again. Tho still much to go.

Rimie or Ria, whatever.
Loista, 11 Jan 2018

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